Tom and Jerry

Tom Waits and Jerry Seinfeld walk into a bar
Jerry owns this bar
Jerry asks Tom if he likes the place
Tom doesn't directly reply, instead he says
"A red bird just flew by outside"
This was before they walked inside
Jerry doesn't remember the bird, instead
he orders a cosmopolitan from the bartender
he doesn't have to pay
Tom orders a beer and, uncharacteristically, doesn't pay
He is a guest of Jerry Seinfeld
He doesn't have to pay if he doesn't want to
Jerry sips on his cosmo
Tom drinks his beer
He talks to the bartender
He asks him questions like
"Do you watch much television?"
Tom asks this in his typical whiskey-soaked voice
The bartender replies
"Only what's on the TV sets in the bar"
Tom watches the television in front of him
It's a human interest piece about the homeless
Tom takes another drink from his beer bottle
and doesn't ask the bartender any more questions
Jerry is talking to his celebrity friends.
Tom is nervous on the stool, afraid that those other people
will recognize him or his voice
He asks the bartender one more question
"Do you notice the birds in the summer?"
The bartender replies
"Is it summer already?"
Tom nods and walks over to Jerry
and, characteristically, smashes the bottle over Jerry's head
in front of his famous friends
Jerry stands with his arms spread and head cut open
His friends ask him "Did Tom Waits just hit you with a beer bottle?"
Jerry doesn't reply
Tom walks out of the bar. He sees a bum wino and gives him a twenty dollar bill.
The bum says "Thanks" and walks away
He doesn't recognize the man who gave him the money

Tom Waits knowingly walks into another bar on his own.